Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Celebrating Our Last First Birthday!

My little marshmallow turned one year old a few weeks ago.  I wanted to take the time to reflect on this past year of my life with this sweet baby of mine. 
Kids really have a way of making you realize just how fast time goes by.  It feels like just yesterday my husband and I were just bring Thomas home from the hospital, adjusting to life with three boys, and figuring out another new routine with another new baby.  

 Like all parents, I feel so lucky to have this little kiddo in my life.   His sassy attitude keeps me on my toes.  He’s chatty, he’s spunky, and he knows what he wants.  He loves to try to keep up with his older brothers.  He has helped me set limitations and has taught me to let things go.  I promised myself to let the guilt go on my dirty house.  For his whole first year, I promised myself to not stress about piles of clothes, papers, or fur and allow myself instead to use that time to play with my children.  For the most part, I was able to do just that.  I let dishes pile up, left laundry go unfolded, and cleaned the bathrooms far less than I am willing to admit here.  None of my children will remember any of those things.  What I hope they remember are the trips to the zoo, the games we played, and the cuddles we shared. 
My maternity leave was hard.  We decided for financial reasons to keep my (at the time) 20 month old home 3 days a week.  Caring for a newborn and a 20 month old is difficult.  The first day home with both of them, my 20 month old cried for 3 hours straight, I in turn called my husband crying.  But as the weeks went by it got easier, we fell into a really great routine, the crying (from both of us) ended, and I really didn’t want my time home with them to come to an end.   Those 10 weeks whizzed right by. 

I nursed Thomas full time through 8.5 months.  This wasn’t always easy as there were four other little hands that were reaching for their mommy at any given time.  The nine months we spent bonding with each other are irreplaceable.  I’m not going to lie, I also wasn’t sad when it ended.  He didn’t “need” me in the same way that I felt my second born needed me but maybe it was that I didn’t need him in the same way either.  I had let go of the mommy guilt this time around.  I’m doing the best that I know I can do to raise three young gentleman and sometimes that means knowing your limitations. 
I’ve also learned to take care of myself this year.  I’ve learned that taking care of myself and my needs doesn’t make me a selfish person.  In fact, taking care of myself has made me a better mommy.  I’ve learned to tell my husband when I need some time to myself to do things for me.

Both of the old children are great brothers.  They both are so sweet with their baby brother.  The love and affection they show each other is so cute. I hope to remember these sweet moments five years from now when all they will do is wrestle on the floor together or ten years from now when they are trying to out-burp one another.  Sigh.

I've tried to cherish and enjoy all our out last "firsts" with Thomas.  They say the third baby gets the shaft because parents tend to not care about the milestones or care to take as many pictures, a "been there done that" phenomenon .  I've tried my hardest to not make that a reality but the truth be told, it isn't that we "don't care", its because my time with him is so precious.  My hands are busier and that makes the time we do spend together just that much more special.  I'm busy living with him than busy writing about him.  I'm too busy cuddling his snugly little body to start that scrapbook, I'm too busy kissing his chubby little checks to take a time out to snap a picture of the moment.  I'm too busy living in the moment than taking the time to wish for the next.  I love him and I love my crazy little life.  

****Photos all done by the talented Jesse Lee Photography.